Hey guys!!! Happy New week!!!
In the spirit of love that is celebrated this week i wouldn’t be putting up my confessions. this week is all about other bold people like myself putting up their confessions and the week has started wonderfully by my brother and “oga” in the blogging business. The CEO of art of ade.com adeoluwa atayero popularly known as “baba crown”
I try to be honest about a lot of things but there are some memories I have and things I’ve gone through that I, much like everyone else, would prefer not to think or talk about. There are lot of them but the one I have succeeded in conquering most recently is depression.
Yeah, I used to be very depressed.
It’s weird to write about now because my life is so different and I lead such a happy day to day, I almost feel like it never happened. The truth remains that there was a time when I was separated for my family and everything I knew and loved was taken from me.
It was weird and dark. There are still some scars from that time in my life that remain with me today. For example, I like walking everywhere now because I used to avoid people and would rather walk ridiculous lengths so I could talk to myself and not be bothered. There are many other habits I have now that can be traced directly to my dark ages. However, it is wasn’t all bad.
During that time, music found me. I did not start listening to music, I did not start singing. I did not find music. No. Music found me. I got through most of it by drowning myself in chords and lyrics, synths and trumpets.
While people go through depression for a variety of reasons and there are different levels of depression, it’s still something Africans don’t like to talk about. My episodes would have gotten worse if someone hadn’t found one of my suicide notes and reported it. I would never have brought it up because i felt it was an “Oyinbo” thing.
I was blessed to be able to go for counseling and be given the help I needed. I was blessed that the people in my life took it seriously and I realize that not everyone is afforded that luxury.
I didn’t really know God then which attributes for a lot of the feeling lost and helpless. So if you are depressed, God is my number one recommendation. He literally will allow you to go through it but He will see you through every second of the way.
Going from my experience, I know how hard it is to open up about something you feel silly about. It is beyond difficult but absolutely necessary. You need someone to listen, you need someone to cry to. You need someone. Anyone.
It’s a phase. It’ll go as quickly as it came. The while it will stay is for you, strength to gain. It’ll be a testimony one day but you have to remember there’s never a reason to give up.
If you need help getting referred to a counselor who can help you or you just need someone to talk to, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The light inside of you will forever be brighter than the darkness you feel inside of you. You are more powerful than you can ever know or imagine.